Return To The First Chapter

Once upon a time in a land far away
Was how most of them started
So I always prepared to go far away
Whenever I read a legend
Then it all started with a death
And finding clues to catch the killer
I often prepared to heave a sigh of relief
Next came those she was not truly wanting
him but he wanted her ,they ended
wanting each other , the Mills &Boons
My bane to belong to a gang of giggling
faces , curious and expecting
Last came the best
The ones I read to survive
the meaninglessness of life with out words
Now plot did not matter
The person did…
Now the end did not suffice
to justify the means
I read about real life characters
I could return to the first chapter
Knowing the end …

Writing in Bed

Men continue to write
in a bed
That she never slept in
She stopped searching
for a dream as she read
the clouds writing helplessly
in the sky that refused to
let them weep rain
And saw the raped wife
using a measuring tape
to design a new cot sitting
outside the room
body less


You try so hard to push me
down the gutter
You toil day and night
to ensure that I am loved by none
Every word of mine is used to assess me
in the worst light
Every person I meet is used to judge
I gave up on love long ago
Do not resuscitate
just to enjoy the kill…..
Leave me my paper world
Spare me this world of make believe…
Do not spy on me all the time
Just to feel in control
Quoting me out of context
I am tired of being on trial
for wanting compassion
For feeling compassion.
I can sleep easily
Said the man with out conscience
After the kill….
He liked the fight
Fingering a woman
Her mind was their arena
Two men or more against one mind
The weaker hated her the most

Love of the Oppressed

Falling in love with an oppressed
Man was the height of romance
Catherine was lonelier
for love on the moors
Against Headley
not for Edgar
but a Heathcliff the brute
Emily Bronte and many others
Were the Anima of a beast
The dark fiend justifiably
Aggressive is perhaps
the only emotion denied
and desired in a sanatorium
of gasping breaths
Muse was the projection
Whose suffocating
Smothering embraces
kept the soul of the anima
kicking alive


Love can also destroy
Sometimes more than hate
I have already been there
Now it sleeps in separate compartments
In a dinner plate or cut fruits
In a muted phone….
A switched off TV as you speak
And that repeated day dream of UFO
during your regular shouting matches
As I look at the Advertisement columns
To sell the dysfunctional refrigerator
Black sucker fish swims
for the fourth year in the aquarium
around the miniature anchor


It was a seminar on whether antidepressants had to be given or not to a suicidal person. I was tricked to attend it by a teacher who wanted to prove that I was suicidal. Was I ? Nope. I was beginning to see that rage was deserved by others not me. All guilt was raped out of me. This teacher wanted to prove his innocence after using a group to flood me with reminders of trauma….He colluded with a hacker and was offended by an independent thinker struggling to retrieve a buried self , quietly writing at midnight amidst violent interrogations,unaware of Trojan Horse virus in the wires. What was more violent explicit interrogations or implicit mind meddling ? Here I was , refusing to split Dr.Jekyll and Actor Hide…..or Actor Jekyll and Dr.Hide.


You waged a war to destroy
1)few hopes
2)one little friendship
3)a semblance of reputation for good work
4)humble pride in a new shade of eye liner
A hesitant hair color
5)Tight hug from a growing body
adopted by a normal uterus
with out cysts or fibroid
You failed to convert
love in to disability.

After most wars someone has to
sweep the floors, diffuse the bombs,
bandage the fractures
donate blood
Someone takes original photos to win prizes
for capturing violence
More real than the boring slums
that already won the Oscar
It is always good to take the pictures
of crying children deserted beside
Red cross or behind yellow tape

Things wont pick themselves up
After wars small /big
I research on resilience, still claiming
that hopes will be reborn
Friendships will return
Children forgive easily in a power point
Awaiting your approval !
This can be an original joke

Good Bye Series…..

“I probably will not be with you next year,Do live well ” Those were a series of good byes , we both had learnt to enact. “You expect the end to be PTSD other wise”
I nodded. He was not a fool. He said ” Every man whoever you spent any time with became a better person, more confident and flew to find a better destiny, not one became a recluse or was hurt…But you carried all the hurt. You took nothing for your way , not even one bastard is even a friend!” He always made it difficult because unless he got a glimpse of more than a friend , he would not have survived…and once he got a glimpse , he would be hooked…. I left holding tears in my eyes …SMS beeped on my mobile ” SIMSU,scramble again :-)….wipe your tears friend”