I do not want to live said a 12 year old

He was mute for 6 months. After the untimely death of mother. Paternal aunt did not want to divulge the reasons, said the woman was adulterous , she should be dead. The boy looked  at me with those haunted eyes of a deer…..He looked at the photograph of Mother Theresa in the room…… I asked him to draw a picture…… he took the black pen….. A long strand of my hair fell on the white paper ….. he looked panicky….. I removed it….Just a strand of hair…. I smiled reassuringly…… I  asked write one word …  hoping to get something in free association he wrote ” Con -Science” and scratched it with black lines….. Mother had consumed  hair dye , bought by the son….. Child thought he had murdered his mother…..I arrived at this by two more clues…..scars of those left behind after suicide… he finally sobbed ” I do not want to live”


8 thoughts on “I do not want to live said a 12 year old

    • Science claims to deconstruct conscience as a social indoctrination of right and wrong , imparted by mother , father to keep a society intact. But I find that conscience is above science. And a child loves his mother , he bought her hair dye since she asked him, later she consumed it to kill her self, the child felt guilty for her act , it was very painful to see .Though here conscience was ringing to a misplaced emotion , I have often found it to be the voice of sanity. Faith is beyond reason , hence conscience is beyond reason.

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  1. I am a psychiatrist by profession, Draw a Person test , Draw a House test, sentence completion test , Write a word , these are some of the projective techniques used with children , to access their mind , when they are not talking . Even play can be diagnostic and therapeutic,
    Conscience serves two functions
    1) To tell that you are guilty
    2) To tell that you are innocent.
    Thank you for the question .

    Liked by 1 person

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