I had seen him while he had incontinence and urinary tract infection with feverish delirium. He was later diagnosed with renal carcinoma. He had noticed a dot of vermilion on my forehead as a symbol of Hinduism. He was diagnosed with panic disorder. We spoke about mortality , life after death, many lives and many masters. It was difficult to let go of the fragile life threads, I saw his struggle. Fear of Thanatos pervaded the room and lights dimmed. He said hesitantly , I did not believe in ” Idol worship” but now I want to donate an idol of Vishnu to a temple in our native place , in silver …I nodded reassuringly. There was hope in his eyes. He continued , ” There will be no flaw in the idol , only then it will be fit for worship” I did not defend the flaws.

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